Distance

It's been almost nine months I stayed in Saser. Nine months without them beside me. Nine months without their laughter and all silly things that they love do.

Why I feel this? 

I feel incomplete. Some of my heart's pieces is missing. They left me with a bunch of memories. It only kill me. 

But,I'm optimistic enough to rise from this knock down and keep pursuing with my new life. I manage to go through. But,as times roll by,I realize about something.

I own fantastic classmates in Saser. They're super amusing and friendly. But,it only vanish my suffer temporarily. 

I just want to spend my time with all my friends...in Ipoh. Though I bring my phone to the school,but still it doesn't make the communication goes well. 

I just want to meet them,create double laughter with my good friends. I just hate this kind of virtual communication,because it doesn't make our interaction look okay.

I know,this entry won't change anything but at least I've expressed all my uneasy feeling about us...about our friendship.

Under The Moonlight

Sometimes,people don't really appreciate much about the beauty of night. They tend to ignore it and never realize,that the serenity can appear by staring and thinking of something at the bunch of stars.

Probably,people will think that I'm a weird guy as I love to watch the night's sky. That's what girl do while I'm a man and I shouldn't do that but who cares. As long it can bring my mind to the ease.

Nowadays,people own thousands of unsolved problems and yet they keep complaining. Their pessimistic thinking lead to unhappy life. They don't realize that something that looks petty is actually a good medicine to their unhappiness - watching the night sky.

Night - it's a time where everyone rests for recharging new energy to have a better day tomorrow. There's no hectic environment exists there during night. Only you,crickets,stars and moon. 

Just choose a right spot outside of your home. Watch the stars and meanwhile,listen to some good and slow songs. Think of your problems and it will vanish away gradually.

That's what I will do if I'm out of Saser where I have lots of time at home and I able to do those things,yeay! 

PS - Serenity hidden under the moonlight. Lie yourself under the bright moonlight and the serenity will penetrate into your soul.

I'm Wrong

I have a friend. Back then,I used to be happy and enjoyed every conversation with her. But,at some point,I started to neglected her. 

It was about status. Since I entered SBP,I thought of having great friends from super SBPs around Malaysia. Just to name a few - TKC,SSP etc.

I averted her. I didn't enjoy to spend my time with her. And,I had told her that she was not my true friend. It sounded cruel,right?

As time passed by,I realized something. My friend was a good person. That person did lots of good things to me but I was blinded,fooled by that status thing.

I wanted to expressed everything that I felt about her. I know I was wrong. And,I hoped I could turn it to be okay just like the old time. The old of me to you.

Insyaallah,if I were offered with a scholarship to UK someday,I would ask you to spend your time with me,just one day. I wanted to do the cliche things that today's teenagers did. Having a good day in shopping complex - watching cinemas,playing bowls and enjoying our meal.

I knew that you wouldn't read this entry but I hoped I could tell you about this someday. Insyaallah.

I'm really sorry,friend.

Sincerely,
Syafiq Z.

Little Things

I always see people around me keep rushing in everything they do. Eating,walking and everything in their life. What do they chase for? 

Back then,I loved to watch the stars and the beauty of the night. But,it was in Bainun. As soon I moved to Saser,that routine started to fade out. It programmed us like a robot. Did the same things again and again. Until,at some point,I wondered that my life really change when I enrolled here.

Its schedule was the busiest ever schedule in the world. My routine started in the early of the morning and ended at the late of night. Everyday. Learning - that was about the main thing in my daily routine. Completing homework,listening to the teachers,and revising everything that I've learned.

Up until one day,my friend asked me to accompany him to a place where we could see the night view of Seremban. Subhanallah,it was superbly beautiful,and suddenly I remembered about my past habit - watching the night environment every day before I hit the sack.

And,now I'm trying my best to make it as my habit again. Because my hectic life averts me from appreciating the beauty of night.Though it seems like petty,but it means a lot to me

The humans need to stop for a while and appreciate things around us. We don't realize how beautiful and great the things around us. 

Stop chasing for something and enjoy the world in your own perspective.

Wake Up Call

It happened about two months ago in Saser,to be specific it occurred toward me.

It was Additional Mathematics' time. While the teacher kept busy teaching us,she suddenly talked about a task that she gave to us and that stuff really freaked her out.

She mad at me. She told me that I was an irresponsible person. I was wondering why she said that. Such a mystery statement.

She explained everything about my MISTAKES.To be honest,the thing that she talked about me was true. Though it hurt me so much,but there was nothing I could do. I had to swallow every words from her.

Actually,I needed to send that task on Tuesday,but because I didn't complete it,then I told my Additional Mathematics teacher that I wanted to send it on Wednesday. I managed to complete it and I was lazy enough to send to her,so I asked for my friend's help to send the task to her.

And,that was the starting point she told me that I was not a responsible guy. There were many dumb things I did that she traced and she told the whole class about it. Such a blessing in disguise I guess.

Her words realized me a lot that I neglected my responsibility to many people and to my God.
I failed to be a good Muslim,an obedient son,a good student and a great friend.

Though I'm a not good enough guy,but still I'm still trying to be a responsible guy and hopefully will be a totally responsible and matured man that can care for his family and himself someday.

There are four types of responsibility that I concluded based on that previous experience. 

1) Responsibility to Allah SWT
2) Responsibility to our parents
3) Responsibility to our teachers
4) Responsibility to our friends 

In the future,we'll have a great responsibilty,especially for those married one. You ought to care for you spouse and your children someday. Wow,that was too many of responsibilities.

PS - I still afraid of commitments.